The Breath of Cannons and the Cunning of the Waves: A Tale of Sano Fynn, Pirate Hunter

By Eleawen Galadiel

« The wind doth carry the lies of men, yet the sea, she ever whispers the truth… most of all when it is torn from her by force. » – Eleawen Galadriel, sipping black coffee as dark as the ink of unsigned contracts.

Act the First: Tyler’s Call and the Dance of Shadows

Beneath the grey heavens of Mur County Docks doth our tale commence, dear readers. Sano Fynn, adventurer who hath already shared his exploits with all – recall the article « The Grey Wolf and the Adventurer of a Thousand Returns: An Expedition in the Ancestral Pine Forest » in Issue the Seventeenth – idst present himself at the Gazette’s offices in Mur County Centre with the vigour of a dwarf who hath found a purse of gold.

« Tyler hath sent us to hunt pirates, » quoth he, scratching his neck as though the details were fleas most stubborn.

The mission? To reclaim stolen goods – golden plates and enchanted blood (aye, thou readest aright) – ere the thieves doth drown them in wine or trade them for three-headed goats.

His company? A sergeant with a blood-red scarf (Gabriela Ravenne, to those who know her), a woman with black wings (whose name flees like a thief in the night), a goblin cleric named Kryll, a healer of divine arts (did Ilmater watch over them? A mystery…), Safina, wielding Wind-Fire Wheels with the grace of a dancer, and Rael, whose renown doth precede her blade – known most for her fierce hatred of the undead.

« We began in Sambrune, then crossed the Desert of Karash… or was it Khrash? » – Sano, losing his elvish tongue (and his spelling) in his notes.

Act the Second: From Sand to Sea, or How to Borrow a Ship Against the Will of Its Rightful Owners

Upon the coasts, pirates there were, with their ships anchored. Then came a battle to seize a vessel and give chase to the fleeing rogues, who had taken to their heels.

« We took their ship, » confirmeth Sano with a shrug. « Or rather… borrowed it. With their blood as surety. »

A point most crucial: The ship was returned to Port Embria after the deed. « A temporary transfer of property, » as I didst so delicately suggest. Erevan himself would have smiled at such legal cunning.

Then came the naval clash. « The cannons… ’twas new to me, » confesseth Sano, his eyes alight like a child before a firework display. « We sank their second ship. And Kryll… ah, Kryll! » The goblin cleric, master of the Healing Domain, saved more than one life that day. « Without him, we would all be feeding the fishes. »

Act the Third: Squidward the Dread (and His Narrow Escape)

The surviving pirates, as tenacious as hungry gulls, fled with their captain: Squidward.

« A hard one, » summeth up Sano, as though that single word sufficed to describe a man who could terrify a kraken.

After a battle most epic, he was bested. The spoils? Five plates of gold, enchanted blood (to be used in moderation, I suppose), but no golem part. « A pity, » murmureth Sano, « we would have liked to have it, to make a golem. »

Epilogue: What Impressed Me Most…

« To use the cannons to sink an enemy ship… and to see Kryll save us in every battle. ‘Twas… epic. » – Sano Fynn, the adventurer with a heart as vast as his forgetfulness for names.

Postscript from the Editor’s Quill

Dear readers, if ye should meet Gabriela Ravenne, Safina, Rael, or that unknown woman with black wings, buy them a drink. From me.

And remember:

« A pirate who doth not laugh is a pirate who takes himself too seriously… and that, is a tragedy. »